It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
