why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
