So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Be still, my beating vagina.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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