he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
