scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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