He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
