Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
