Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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