So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You made out with two different species that night
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
