i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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