Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I cut my penus on the lid.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
