This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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