Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
