i permit you to call me
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm passing your future prison.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
