I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
