Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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