that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
