im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
