like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
