My sheets look like a crime scene.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
