You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
