IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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