Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
