Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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