Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I can't turn off my feet"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm šš»š
We are so blessed
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartenderās bed
Iāve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. Iām a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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