I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
