i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
