this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It's never too late to be topless.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
