My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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