there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
