im calling her cock vulture from now on
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
