I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
