And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
