Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
