We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
