so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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