Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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