Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just gargled with NyQuil
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
