I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
