Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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