Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
