so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
i think my cat just said my name.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
