Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
