There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
