We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Can you bring me the toilet please
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
