she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
