every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
