Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
