my vag is so smooth its legendary
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
