But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
