How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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