Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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