can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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